Knowing Your Pack

One of the biggest things fostering has taught me has nothing to do with the foster dogs themselves.

It's taught me to truly know my own pack.

People often ask me how I can let a foster dog go, and while yes, it's emotional, I honestly find so much joy in watching them leave for a life they've always deserved. Seeing a dog go from neglected, scared, or unsure of the world to walking into a home where they'll be loved for the rest of their life is why I foster.

Juni left for her forever home last week, and I couldn't be happier for her. She came to us from a cruelty case with barely any hair, and two months later she left healthy, beautiful, and ready for her next chapter.

But there's something that doesn't get talked about very often.

What happens after they leave.

Not for me.

For my dogs.

Dogs don't understand the idea of fostering. They don't know a dog is "just here temporarily." They simply know another dog has joined the family. Over time, everyone finds their place. Some of my dogs accept that faster than others, but eventually they all adjust because that's what dogs do. They create a new normal.

And then one day... that dog is gone.

The morning after Juni left, Nova walked straight to Juni's room looking for her. The next morning she did it again. This morning she spent even longer sniffing around, almost like she was trying to figure out where her friend went. Juni's scent is still there, so Nova knows she existed. She just doesn't understand why she isn't here anymore.

Watching that honestly breaks my heart a little more than saying goodbye myself.

It's also a reminder that fostering isn't just an adjustment for me. It's an adjustment for every dog that lives in this house.

That's why I choose to take breaks between long-term fosters.

I know some foster homes go from one dog right to the next, and some take in multiple dogs at once. I have so much respect for people who can do that.

But I've learned that's not what works for my pack.

Some of my dogs need time to decompress. Some need time to settle back into their routines. Some need time to stop looking for the dog that isn't coming back. They all process change differently, just like people do.

As much as I would love to save every dog—and trust me, if I could, my house would probably have a thousand of them—I also have six dogs who depend on me to understand them.

Part of being a good foster isn't just knowing the dog you're bringing in.

It's knowing the dogs who are already waiting for you at home.

Knowing when they're comfortable. Knowing when they're stressed. Knowing when they're ready. And knowing when they need a break.

For us, taking time between fosters isn't because we don't want to help. It's because I want to continue fostering for a long time, and the only way I can do that is by making sure my own pack is mentally and emotionally healthy too.

Every home is different. Every pack is different.

This is simply what works for ours.

And when they're ready, we'll open our home to another dog who needs us.

Because at the end of the day, fostering isn't just about saving the dog that comes through your door.

It's also about honoring the dogs who make room for them in the first place.